If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
