Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
should my penis look like a turkey
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
