So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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