Is it normal to miss your booty call?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
