im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
