At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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