she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
