the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Every concussion has its silver lining
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
