I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
