Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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