Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize