let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize