i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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