why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
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