We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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