shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize