id be glad to
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
