they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
