Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
