I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
