At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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