Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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