I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx