So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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