we're chasing vodka with high fives
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
