Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
they call him Oral-B. enough said
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
