My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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