i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(