Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.