I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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