yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
