Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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