You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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