i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
