you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
