what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
