Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
