and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
babies were throwing up all over the place
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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