are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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