that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize