John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Randomize
