i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
