go do what you do best...puke behind churches
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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