when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I am spending my child support on dildos
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
