weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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