you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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