Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You were trust falling into bushes
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
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