I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
