I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Congratulations! We have a period
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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