So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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