I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
