okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
