she was so not down for the gang bang
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize