Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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