you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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