you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
When are your genitals available?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
