Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
